I did! I hated being obese. Obesity to me was like living in a prison denied all pleasure. Now some think food is pleasure, but really? Maybe for a minute or a second but with all that high fat, high salt, high sugar food, come pain, remorse and another day in that prison of a fat suit.

What I have always struggled with as a weight loss coach is the idea that having to give up foods we know are bad for us is such a sacrifice. How is it a sacrifice to live healthy, to shed the fat suit? To have movement, balanced moods, pain-free days? I don’t get it, I admit.

I understand having a bad day, but to constantly put food first makes no sense to me. Have I told you I hated being obese? Hated my obese life. Lost all hope. I’ve been where you are and I found a way out. Yes, it’s not always easy, but it’s a heck of a lot easier than living obese.

I recorded this audio for women who are where I was back on 2005. Hopeless and obese. If that’s not where you are then this audio isn’t for you. This audio isn’t about getting you to join RFBC it’s about waking up to the truth and realizing that we have to stop lusting after something that makes us miserable. We have to get up and take action and stop coming up with excuses why being obese for another day is okay. It’s not. Obesity is not okay.


So many newsletter subscribers were interested in this subject, that I am adding our daily discussion on this topic here so they can follow along.

Tuesday, September 4, 2018: Besties

Good morning ladies. I am on a mission. My mission is to get you to fight the pedestals you have put food on. Today is our first topic this week on this subject.

So many feel food is their best friend, only friend at times, their lover and even their god. Giving up favorite foods can cause grief and women actually go into resentful mourning. I say enough of that. If high fat, high sodium, high sugar food is anything it is our prison guard or abusive lover.

In today’s audio I tell you how I have replaced food as my bestie, as my coping mechanism and even as a way to stay awake while driving.

Now I want you to honestly search for food replacement in your life. You need to replace it as friend, as listener, as lover, as comforter with something or someone else. Think about this. Don’t give rote answers. Give it thought and start replacing these aspects food plays in your life today.


Wednesday, September 5, 2018: Social Settings

Continuing with our discussions on running as far away from obesity as we can and staying far away, today we are talking about the social aspect of dieting. This becomes one of the top excuses women at camp use for breaking their plan. “I just wanted to fit in for a change.” “I don’t like feeling like an outsider.” “If I eat different all those people will think less of me.”

My counter-argument is that when you’re obese, all of that is already an issue. When we eat healthily maybe those judgy people are thinking about us and our weight. But they do the same thing when we eat unhealthily. So why not just eat what makes you feel good about yourself??

What we eat doesn’t make us fit in or not fit in. Who we are is what matters. Yes, there may be a problem with your other obese friend who see you as her eating buddy. It’s amazing how many women come to camp who have eating buddies who also have a weight issue. It’s safe to eat with us, especially if we’re the heavy one. I’m afraid those friends may have to be replaced.

It takes courage to do the things we believe in. To stand up for ourselves and protect ourselves, but you know what? Even those nay-sayers admire someone who sticks to their commitments to themselves.

I say be the inspiration and see just how many people come to you and want what you’re doing.

Today’s audio is about building the strength and confidence to stand up for yourself in social situations and being okay with being different. It is also about  not letting other people and social events become excuses to stay in your fat suit.


Thursday, September 6, 2018 – 3 Tools for Success

Good morning ladies. We are continuing our discussion on ridding the fat suit goodbye for good. Today I want us to arm ourselves with 3 powerful tools.

  1. Set the record. Create a video of yourself of where you are and talk directly to yourself. Talk about what obesity has done for you. Why you hate it. Why it needs to be out of your life for good. Then take a deep look, remembering you’re talking to yourself, and demand of yourself to not give up and not forget how bad you want this.


2. You need to find a voice deep from within that has power and you need to be able to call on it so you can tell yourself no on the spot. I use “Damn I’m Good,” to remind me of how great I am. I also am not afraid to tell my fat brain to “Shut the f*#$ up.” I say it forcibly then go do something as to not let there be a counter argument.


3. Create an environment of remembrance.  Create a corner that’s all you. Pictures of where you’re going, what you’re going to do, and how great you’re going to feel.


It is so important we never lose sight of how much obesity has stolen from us. We can’t romanticize it or ever think it was okay and that food we want is more important. What will you do to build this landscape for yourself so you are always aware of why you are on the path to thin and healthy.


Friday, September 7, 2018 – Asking for and Getting Support


Today’s audio is the last in the series I Hate Being Obese. It focuses on how reluctant many are to ask for support. We offer all types of support at RFBC. Members can email me any time. We have an Hour by Hour group that is set up so when you feel you need extra accountability you go there every hour to check in that you have been on plan. Many monitor that group and will help keep an eye on you. We have private messaging so you could message a friend and we have conversation groups where the ladies are always willing to offer support. We have the Carlene In Your Ear and Don’t Feed the Bear audios. That’s at camp.

It’s important that we open up to asking for support. If any of us could do this alone we would have. But the problem is many in the midst of wanting to eat off plan don’t want to ask for help because they want the food and if they ask for help and get it, then they won’t get the food they want. Analyze that for a moment. That is what addicts do. They skip meetings, don’t call their sponsors, and pretend they are in control and lie to themselves that one drink, one snort won’t hurt. We all know where that leads.

If you truly want to break obesity, you have to break this addiction lie. Support is important and we all need it. And to be truly successful we must use it. Not after the fact, but in the midst of wanting to break our plan. Reach out. Not to is setting yourself up for failure, and usually because that is what you want. Crazy right?

You are choosing to shed the fatsuit. You have to change to keep it off. People will support you if you ask them.

My children (adults) and my friends supported me because I asked them to. I made a deal with my kids. If you don’t eat popcorn, pizza or Chinese food in front of me, I won’t ask any other sacrifice from you. They agreed to do that for me. That put me in a place of obligation. I was obligated to be okay with them eating everything else in front of me. And they did. And I had to be okay with it and while there were a few grin and bear it moments I was. They sacrificed for me. I couldn’t let them down.

I told my friends what I was doing. They thought the diet sounded crazy. I told them to give me 3 months to try it. I have done worse things to lose weight. So they agreed and we gave up meeting at restaurants and instead met at cafes. I would get tea, they would get whatever including pastries and I had to be okay with it because they were giving up restaurants for me. I owed them my success. That’s how I felt. Obligated to succeed.

How can you set yourself up to succeed by setting up support and putting yourself in a place of obligation?


If you like this series of audios on Hating Obesity

Click here to listen to 3 days worth of Separating Health from Life

Click here to listen to a discussion on being a Food Addict and read our ladies defining aha moments



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